What is a “Slave to Love”?
Have you ever wondered why you keep getting treated like a door mat? Why it is that nice guys and girls seem to finish last? How is it that the “treat them mean keep them keen” mentality is still very much accepted and alive today? Why do beautiful intelligent women and men stay in unhealthy abusive relationships? How is it that so many intelligent men and women lose large amounts of money, possessions, and even their own children in the transaction of love? I will tell you why, it is because you/ they are being slaves to love!
The term slave is defined as “someone who is legally owned by another person and is forced to work for that person without pay and/ or It is a person who is strongly influenced and controlled by something/ or someone”.
Looking back over some of my past relationships I realised I was being a slave to love. This ultimately means you are expected to love and behave in certain ways to serve your partner when and how they want you to. In the process you lower your self worth and value. Your needs often get dismissed, as the objective is to serve, and keep your partner happy no matter what without expecting anything in return. As a result you will no doubt be used, disrespected, abused, mistreated, neglected, unappreciated and more often then not disposed of when you start speaking up or not serving the one you thought loved you.
10 signs you are a slave in love
Here are 10 signs you are or have been a slave in love:
- You constantly question whether your in the right relationship.
- Your partner is always talking about him/ herself and you feel like you never get heard.
- Every time you have a fight or argument the relationship is threatened eg. “Your partner says I don’t think we are right together” and/ or “I don’t think I am really in love with you”.
- When things are going well and your partner seems to be treating you like they love you, you get your hopes up only to be disappointed repeatedly, so eventually you start feeling anxious because you know that this doesn’t usually last long. This is reinforcement behaviour. They give you a little glimpse of the potential partner you saw in them to just keep you there. You become addicted to them like a drug and you keep doing whatever you can to experience the high again.
- They are not happy when you are. When you achieve something they do something or say something to ruin the moment, or come home and rant and rave about how bad their day was, so you feel like they never actually celebrate your successes. This is because your just a slave so your job is to make them happy and be of service to them.
- You start walking on egg shells around them because of the unpredictability and inconsistency in how they treat you. Or for fear of getting rejected, yelled at, or in worse cases, beaten if you step out of line and don’t live up to their expectations. This can start with simple things like them yelling at you for asking them for help or for not mopping the floor properly or to them subtly starting to put you down in the bedroom ultimately making you feel inadequate.
- Often these men or women have addictions to alcohol, drugs, or gambling and you are left picking up the pieces.
- They occasionally do something really sweet out of the blue for you to overcompensate for their bad behaviour and they will constantly remind you how good they treat you because they did this one thing. eg take you to an expensive hotel.
- The moment you start to feel comfortable enough to express your love for them like send a beautiful message or write a heartfelt poem they will go out of their way to make you feel rejected or like it wasn’t good enough and to not reciprocate. e.g they will complain about how that message interrupted them at work. You see, they never really want you to get too close as then they won’t be able to dominate you anymore. You have to always be below them looking up to them and seeking their approval.
- They won’t commit to you and often make you feel like you have to compete for their attention, by subtly mentioning that they have other potential suitors.
The first step is recognising you are being a slave and treated unfairly in the relationship. The hardest step is breaking away from it. It is like breaking an addiction. You will need many things including a good support system. If you could relate to this post in any way then don’t waste another minute in this viscious cycle, take the first step NOW and call me on 0414 865 390 so we can set you FREE!