Are you addicted to Love?

I have dealt and continue to deal with many clients who struggle with Love and relationships and go from one unhealthy relationship to another. A lot of this has to do with there dangerous relationship with “Love”. You may be a little confused by this statement. So to clarify this for you a little further, what I mean is that it is not the person that they are in a relationship with that is necessarily the problem, it is their relationship to, or rather dependency on “LOVE” that is the problem.

I have found a lot of people are attached to and love the feeling of being in love. They unconsciously believe Love is a feeling that just takes over and consumes you and another person. It is an unconscious desire to be with someone, rather then a choice. It is the excitement, and the high and a feeling of ecstasy that you want to keep experiencing. But what they don’t realize is this is an illusion and a feeling that they are in fact attaching to someone else who fits there “ideal” of what love looks like. This is where falling in love can be very dangerous because if you suffer from an addiction to love then it is not unlike suffering other addictive behaviours as what happens is you get really good at justifying why someone is good for you when they are in fact really really “bad” for you. And like any addiction unless you realise and firstly admit that you have a problem with your relationship to this thing it can and will destroy your life.

12 signs that you are addicted to Love

So to help you identify if you may have a problem/ or an addiction to “love” I have come up with 12 classic, tell-tale signs that you may, or may not relate to:

1. You fall in love very easy and your relationships always progress relatively fast.
2. You spend most of your time thinking and analysing whether you are in the right relationship or not and whether your partner is “right for you”.
3. You seem to lose yourself and neglect your friends and your own personal interests whilst you are in relationships and sometimes feel happier being single because you finally have time to spend on you for a change.
4. You get “high” on love and then crash.
5. You start talking about kids and getting married in the first few weeks.
6. You spend most of your time talking to your friends about your partner and your relationship.
7. You have perhaps had emotional, physical affairs with people who are already in relationships.
8. You go from one relationship to another quite quickly.
9. You find yourself unable to stop seeing a specific person even though you know seeing this person is destructive to you?
10. You are terrified of never finding love.
11. You feel inadequate if you are not in a relationship.
12. Love is the most important thing in the world to you.

If you can relate to 5 or more of these then you most likely have a problem with “love”. If you are unsure but couldn’t resist reading this blog then you most probably have a problem with love to,  and if you did a google search and ended up finding this blog you definitely have a problem with love and need to talk to me.

Don’t worry you are not alone, there is many of us out there. I used to be a love addict and now I am a love expert because I have had to go through it myself so I could help you. I have helped many men and women recover from this addiction, who now as a result have a healthy relationship with love which has lead them to finding a healthy relationship with a person who is truly “right for them”.

It all starts with love and ends with love. To find true love you must first understand what love is NOT. Love is not a FEELING that happens beyond our control. It is rather, A CHOICE that results in a feeling and an ability to let go of control and become vulnerable so then you can truly love.

With love and wisdom,

Kylie xx

read more »

Is self-sabotage destroying your happiness and fulfilment?

Do you ever feel like something always gets in your way of experiencing real fulfilment, success and/or happiness, or you doing something you really want to do?

When you look back at your life do you have some “what if’s”, or things that you really regret doing, or not doing and every time you think about it you wish you could press the rewind button, and edit that bit?

Do you feel as if there is a limit to your ability to reach your goals, and something always gets in the way of you reaching them? For example, You have tried to lose weight a number of times, only to get down to a certain point, and then bam something happens and you put it all back on again.

Well, if you answered yes to any of these questions, I have some good news, and some bad news for you! The bad news is, that it is YOU that is to blame for you not succeeding or experiencing real fulfilment and happiness and achieving your goals in your life/ relationships. Yes, that is right, it was YOU who created the debt that meant you could not go on that trip of a lifetime or buy the house of your dreams. It was YOU that created your life becoming so busy, that you did not have time to prepare healthy meals or get to the gym anymore, and you put on weight again. It was YOU that attracted that douche bag who cheated on you, and left you for someone else, after you sacrificed that job of a lifetime to be with him/ her! Yes, I am sorry to have to say it, but it was ALL YOU!!!

Now I know, that was all a little bit hard to swallow. Especially the one “where that douche bag cheated on you, and treated you like S#^t after you sacrificed the job of your dreams for him”, right?!

However, I do have some good news. The good news is IT WAS ALL YOU, SO THAT MEANS YOU CAN CHANGE THE WAY IT GOES NEXT TIME!! Yes, notice I said, “NEXT TIME”? Right now you are saying there will NOT be a next time, right? Well I guarantee you, that if you are still blaming something, or someone outside of you for your unhappiness, failures, misfortunes, and YOU cannot or will not see that it is YOU that is creating everything in your life, including all of your misfortunes, and sabotaging your own happiness and success. Then trust me, something else similar will happen. Until you acknowledge your own demons?! Yes that’s right, we all have them, “our very own self – sabotaging demons”! These “demons” belong, and are unique to YOU! It is these demons that takeover sometimes, and before you know it YOU are sabotaging yourself by creating excuses, reasons, blocks, distractions, problems, circumstances in the way of you having what your truly want in life!

Why would I do that you might be asking? Why would I sabotage my own happiness, success, and fulfilment? This would be absolutely insane and counter-intuitive. Your right, it is counter- intuitive and would be absolutely insane if you knowingly did this. That is the problem, you see, these self destructive behaviours, beliefs and thoughts are often unconscious and out of your control. It is as if something takes over, and you can’t help it, and often you will consciously justify, and give excuses why you reacted this way. Because you don’t realise you are even doing it at the time. You will often look back and think “why did I do, or say that?”. It is like lining yourself up, to punch yourself in the face (metaphorically speaking).  It is very painful repeating these patterns and damaging to the soul. It is also painful for loved ones to watch this process.

These self- sabotage patterns often comes from fear, self worth issues, or not valuing ourselves enough. They are patterns which often start from our early years.

Here are some of the unconscious reasons you self sabotage:

20 possible reasons why you self- sabotage

1. Perfectionism- having to get it right and get it perfect, and knowing how it will turn out before you do it. This is associated with “fear of failure” and “not being good enough”. This often leads us to procrastinate and/ or not do anything at all.
2. To Stay Comfortable- our brain is capable of many things but “getting out of your comfort zone” is not something the brain really wants to do as that involves changing and expanding, and experiencing “growing pains”. Our mind creates “excuses” and tries to talk us out of anything that is uncomfortable, so it isn’t stressed/ stretched to grow. The brain is smart but also lazy and stubborn and doesn’t want to do anything, it doesn’t have to do. It is happy keeping us in “survival mode”. As the saying goes “NO PAIN, NO GAIN”!
3. Self doubt- you are proving that you cannot trust yourself, you are not good enough because you lack self-esteem and don’t actually believe you can do it!
4. Lack of Self Worth- you don’t value yourself and you have a belief that you are unworthy of happiness, success and fulfilment and love.
5. Addiction- you are addicted to a behaviour and/ or something or someone, and how that makes you feel. For example, emotional eating, alcohol, drugs, sex, cigarettes, attention. Addictions are a form of distracting yourself from changing, healing or avoiding dealing with painful issues so we can move forward- Sometimes, metaphorically speaking, “we would rather put on the Band-Aid, so we don’t have to see, and be reminded how we got the scar”.
6. Distraction- you keep yourself busy with other areas of your life. You create and allow things, or people to come and distract you, so you have a reason not to focus on what’s important to you. This can involve sabotaging and not making time for good relationships with people who will keep us accountable e.g. your life coach, good friendships. It can also come in the form of bad behaviour/ habits/ addictions.
7. You make it harder then it actually is for yourself- by resisting, overthinking, creating problems or blocks and giving up as a result by saying “it wasn’t meant to be” and putting it into the “too hard basket”, which is just a total excuse and a cop out for not realising your dreams by the way! “Where there is a will there is a way”.
8. To avoid being true and honest with yourself – You are in denial and avoiding getting real, with yourself about who you want to be, and what your really want, compared to who you are being, and what you have right now. You pretend to be happy when you are not to avoid the consequences you associate with changing. For example, to avoid ending a long-term relationship that is no longer fulfilling you.
9. Fear of judgement- you are worried about people judging you or your actions or choices, so you don’t want to, and you avoid putting yourself in the limelight.
10. You don’t like feeling out of control- You would rather deal with who and what you know versus someone or something you have no idea how to be with cause you have never experienced these feelings before. A mentality of “better the devil you do know, then the one you don’t”.
11. Fear of success- you are afraid of actually succeeding and the responsibility that goes with who you would have to become if you did. In other words, never being able to go back to what you know, or not having to search anymore.
12. You are a drama queen- you like to be able to complain, talk about and be recognised for all the misfortunes and challenges you have had to overcome. You want to stay stuck so you have something to complain about.
13. You are trying to punish someone else- you want someone else to feel guilty for YOU not being able to succeed e.g. parents, ex lover.
14. Fear of rejection or losing people in your life – you are afraid of leaving others behind, or them leaving you as a result of your choices or if you let them close to you. So you may pretend to be someone you are not to seek other people’s approval, and/or you may come across overly clingy or distance yourself to avoid being rejected or abandoned.
15. You have an “I can’t have it all” mentality – You don’t feel you deserve more then you already have.
16. To good to be TRUE syndrome – you believe life is going too well so something is bound to happen to ruin it. SO you sabotage and create problems where there were none!
17. People pleasing- putting everyone else’s happiness before your own. You don’t make yourself and your goals a priority, and let everyone else’s become the priority, and never find time to spend time on your own goals!
18. Fear of losing your freedom, or rebellion against authority- this often leads us to fail to plan or be organised, and avoid accountability. Leaving things till the last minute, sets us up for stress and anxiety and a feeling of pressure which is what your were resisting in the first place. As they say, “Failing to plan, is planning to fail”!
19. Not trusting ourselves – this often leads to making spontaneous, un-informed choices, which leads us to failure and then not feeling we can trust ourselves to make good decisions. Ultimately proving to ourselves, and others that we cannot be trusted.
20. Victim mentality – you avoid taking responsibility for your own goals, happiness and success, and place blame on others for your failure. This often involves getting opinions, help or advice from lots of other people, who don’t necessarily have any expertise in the area. Relying on your partner to make all the decisions. This sets us up for poor choices, and failure, which we can blame on others, so we don’t have to EVER take responsibility for our own choices, life and happiness.

 Moving forward from self-sabotage to the life you desire

There are many reasons why you self- sabotage. I have just outlined a few of the most common. These self- destructive thoughts, beliefs and behaviours often are a result of unconscious learning and decisions you have made about yourself when you were faced with particular experiences/ circumstances in your life, usually in your early years, that you may or may not recall. These self destructing patterns are what prevent you from moving forward, and if you fail to identify them, and bring them to your awareness, and they remain unconscious, they will continue to wreak havoc in your lives!

The pathway to success, healing and changing these patterns so you can move forward in your own desired direction, starts with being able to identify your own self -sabotage patterns. Sometimes you may need help to see it, and heal it so you can move forward. Like anything in life, to make real, lasting  and profound change, you have to be prepared to do what it takes, and get the help and professional support you need.

However, like anything in life this will only happen if YOU are motivated to change. You are motivated by one of two things; pain or inspiration. It is your choice! Unfortunately, most people don’t have low pain thresholds before they are motivated to change. The majority of people choose suffering, over being ALIVE and CONSCIOUS and having the ability to choose and create a life they will LOVE! The question is ARE YOU READY TO WAKE UP AND START TRULY LIVING?! Are YOU ready to TRULY INVEST IN YOURSELF and COMMIT TO YOUR OWN GROWTH and  draw a line in the sand, and say “enough is enough, I deserve more”. I know you are capable of creating change the question is are YOU going to get out of YOUR own way enough to see it, and most importantly commit to the most important relationship of all, THE ONE WITH YOURSELF?!

IF you want something different, you need to choose to do something different!

As an intuitive life coach, I have the ability to not only see your self- sabotage patterns and help bring these to your awareness but also the ability and the experience to help you heal, and create real, and lasting change in your life, and move forward to that which you desire. IF YOU ARE READY to stop suffering and have the life you truly deserve, and desire, CALL ME TODAY on 0414 865 390 AND BOOK IN A READING TO UNCOVER YOUR SELF- SABOTAGE PATTERNS IN LOVE/ LIFE PURPOSE/ HEALTH!

I hope that after reading this blog you have been able to identify some of your own self -sabotage patterns and that you start making some different choices!

May you start creating and truly living the life you desire and deserve.

With love, inspiration and healing,

Kylie xx

read more »

Time to share my Gift

So I realized today that I still haven’t actually told the world fully and completely about my beautiful gift. I have only partially shared it, and I decided that it is time to fully reveal and share it, and allow everyone to experience my light at its full glow, and potential. I have to admit that I was still holding on to a bit of fear around what people would say or think of me, and my gift.

You see in the past I have been hurt a lot after revealing this gift. In fact for a while there I actually saw it as a curse and despised it. Humans can be very, very cruel sometimes, especially when they sense something different about you. So for years I kept it to myself and as a result felt very trapped, suppressed and misunderstood. I never felt completely loved or secure in the world. I feared that if I truly showed the world my gift, I would be condemned and shamed for it! I was afraid of my own light, so I dimmed it instead. This actually led to me feeling very depressed, isolated and hopeless. I started to question what the point was of having this gift, if I couldn’t share it with anyone, and had to pretend I didn’t have it.

This gift I have is of being able to see, hear, know and feel things that other people don’t, before and when they happen. I receive messages and guidance for myself, and others. I often know people are going to say or do things before they do. I can tune into others people energy, so much so that I can feel what they are feeling. An example of this is earlier this week I was chatting with one of my regular clients in America over messenger, and I started experiencing heart palpitations. I said to her, you are so stressed I know you are even having heart palpitations, and it turned out that she had been having them well over a week and had already made an appointment to go see her doctor for a check up.

 The Challenges of my Intuitive Gift

I have to say that although I know my gift is a beautiful gift and I feel very blessed to have it now, and be able to contribute and guide and share it with others, sometimes it can be very challenging. It is not easy to be able to switch off, and sometimes it is extremely exhausting. I have had to learn how to disconnect and maintain my own sense of grounding. It can also be a little annoying for people, like my partner, especially when he tries to plan surprises for me or keep a secret. I am grateful that he still continues to try though.

You could call my gift, intuition, clairvoyant, psychic and/ or medium ability. I have had this ability since I was a child but was told I was silly for “thinking or saying these things”. You see it isn’t the easiest gift to have as despite seeing, knowing and feeling what I do, I have had to learn that sometimes other people don’t understand it, or are not open to receiving my gift, and choose not to listen. However I respect that everyone is on their own journey and is entitled to their own opinions and choices.

Being Open to Something Different 

Some people are actually confronted, intimidated and/ or a bit scared of me sometimes. You see I tend to be able to intuitively get to a deeper level then people are used to revealing about themselves. However, what they don’t realize is that the purpose for this is to heal them, and to free them up so they don’t have to repeat the same patterns, can choose differently, and have a life they love.

Unlike most humans, I don’t judge them on what they have or haven’t done. I can see past their clutter and defense mechanisms that try to stop me seeing and connecting with them, at a soul level, and love them for who they truly are, and who they were born to be in this world. You see my gift is a gift of love, unconditional love and acceptance, whether you choose to receive it or not, I will still leave you with love!

In my experience, I have found that some people choose to remain closed. They would rather live with their ego intact and their soul being denied the choice of how to freely express itself. They would rather be a victim and believe that they have no choice in how their life can and will turn out.

Some people choose to believe that life is a set of circumstances and it is luck of the draw which one’s you get. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and we are all here to learn to love ourselves more and to be reminded we always have the power to choose and create.

Unfortunately, some people tend to reject what they don’t perceive as normal, or mainstream! Unfortunately what they perceive as normal is merely only a set of ideals, and values that have been projected on society by the media and other influential organizations, by using manipulating, brain washing, fear mongering, and controlling techniques, so ultimately they maintain power and control over the majority of the worlds wealth.

The sad part is that by maintaining these attitudes, these people are contributing to the segregation in our society. This, I believe is imposing unrealistic standards and expectations on people that is contributing to the growing number of people, experiencing physical and mental illnesses, depression and committing suicide every day. By striving to fit in, people are missing out on the opportunity to be fully self expressed and to appreciate each other’s own individual, and unique gifts and talents that could create heaven instead of hell on this planet.

My Gift of Intuition will Free Your SOUL

You see I am unique and different from you, yet I am the same in that I have something very special to share with you and the world. I am no longer afraid to say it! I can make a difference to this world and you and I am no longer afraid to admit it, and own it! I have a beautiful gift to share with you, and this world and I can no longer deny it or keep it to myself anymore.

I have my own innate ability to assist YOU and whoever chooses to allow me to share my gift with them, to achieve clarity, in your life, to offer you choice and to heal some of your lifelong wounds. I can and will show you how to fall in love with yourself again and experience true love in your lives, and relationships!

Love is Being Open to Understanding

I thank you for letting me share this with you. You see by allowing you the opportunity to understand me, I get to be understood, loved and appreciated for who I truly am and the light that I have to offer in this world. I no longer wish to hide this from you or anyone. I am Kylie Weir, and I have a beautiful gift!

My wish is that after reading this post you choose to shine your light on this world too and no longer hide it in the closet. I want you to know that there are people in the world who love you, and care about you, and believe in you and your unique gift. One of those people is myself! I want you to know that I am here for you, whenever you choose, to let me share my gift with you!

Sending you all lots of love and wishing you a magical day… and remember, YOU ALWAYS have a CHOICE!!!!

read more »

How do we become a slave in love

So by now you should have read my first post www.lovesoulconnect.com/slave-love/ in this series and identified whether you are being a slave to love in one way or another?  Or are you being the perpetrator/ heart breaker and making your partner work really hard to love you and creating a power struggle so you don’t have to be truly vulnerable and risk having your heart broken? Either way, you need to read this post!

If your answer was yes to these questions, by now your thinking thoughts like how could I be so stupid to get myself into this situation? You probably never ever imagined yourself as a person that would ever be in this situation. Stop being so hard on yourself because this is love we are talking about. Believing and allowing yourself to fall in love is not where you went wrong, I assure you!

This kind of relationship occurs when there is an imbalance. It starts with you looking for a partner for the wrong reasons. Usually to make up for a deficit in your own life and ability to love yourself. For example it could be that you are looking for someone to lean on or help you with money, business, to take you on holidays. It often occurs when you come out of one relationship and go straight into another because your looking to fill a void. Before you know it you are in a relationship that is damaging to your soul because what your soul is really craving is some self-love. As the saying goes “you can’t love someone else until you love yourself”.

The partner you attract at this point often has major insecurities and is lonely and looking to fill a void themselves. So without realising you become a slave to love them when they can’t love themselves and constantly seek their approval! You become manipulated into thinking that if you do this or that, and behave in a certain way, or lend that money then that person will eventually love you and will meet your needs in return. However, you will never get the love you deserve in return, because for true love to exist you need to be on an equal playing field and both have self-love first. Instead of being needed you are actually wanted. There is a difference!

In saying this though it is hard to say who has the most insecurities.. you or them? Obviously they have some major insecurities in that they need to dominate and control you and make you feel inferior, so they feel superior in the process. On the other hand though, if you didn’t have insecurities yourself, you would just be able to walk away! Either way, if you did not have insecurities before this relationship, you sure will afterwards, because these men and women will play them and wear them out like a set of guitar strings. Your self esteem will become so low that you will feel like they are the be all and end all, and you will never be loved ever again. If you try and end the relationship, they will twist it around to make it appear they did. They always need to have the last say and the upper hand. They want to believe that they broke your heart and you love them and are still their slave if they do change their mind.

These people will find ways to dominate and manipulate you and keep you in their control. A big one is they will make you dependent on them for something whether it be finances (and sometimes it will be that you will lend them money so then they will have upper hand), your home, work/ business, car, isolating you from friends or maybe it will be their advice because they make you feel like you don’t make good decisions on your own.

Like attracts like, so to attract that which you want you have to be that yourself. So the secret is you need to be happy, confident and completely in love with yourself to attract the right person into your life. To do this you need to create healthy boundaries and be able to identify and listen and look for the red flags and most importantly know when to walk away.

A healthy relationship is one where you both know you would be able to walk way from and still be happy and independent. It is not healthy to be dependent on your partner or feel obligated to serve your partner. True love exists when two individuals choose to be together to create a positive environment conducive to mutual growth and understanding that ultimately will empower each other to a whole new level of emotional, spiritual and intellectual development and acceptance. It is about creating a balance so both parties feel accepted, appreciated and important.

A relationship needs to be built on trust where both people feel respected, safe and secure to be fully self expressed and open to explore themselves and each other in. In saying all this every relationship is different and is subject to its own set of rules, however it needs to be created by both players and the rules agreed upon before you can come anywhere close to the mutual goal of achieving and maintaining true love. First of all both individuals need to be fit, healthy and in love with themselves before they play this game together. They need to be free and have no real baggage weighing them down and clear on their own set of rules and strategy so they can share this with each other. This takes knowing ones own strengths, limitations and boundaries. Both people need to begin on an even playing field with the same ability and desire to contribute to the team to reach their mutual goal. It needs to be understood that you both need to win in order to achieve true love. One cannot experience true love in a relationship without the other sharing it with them.

It is my belief that relationships are by far the biggest learning tool and access to personal growth and fulfillment you will ever have. They are certainly not simple but they are only as complicated as you make them. By far the most important relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. Any other relationship is just a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself. So start valuing and loving yourself first and then you will really break free of the shackles around your ankles and ready to experience TRUE LOVE.

So are you ready to  VALUE YOURSELF AND EXPERIENCE MAGIC IN YOUR LIFE AND TRUE LOVE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS? YES!!!!

THEN CALL ME NOW ON 0414 865 390 TO REALLY HAVE A BREAKTHROUGH!

I PROMISE YOU IT WILL BE MAGIC!

read more »

What is a “Slave to Love”?

Have you ever wondered why you keep getting treated like a door mat? Why it is that nice guys and girls seem to finish last? How is it that the “treat them mean keep them keen” mentality is still very much accepted and alive today? Why do beautiful intelligent women and men stay in unhealthy abusive relationships? How is it that so many intelligent men and women lose large amounts of money, possessions, and even their own children in the transaction of love?  I will tell you why, it is because you/ they are being slaves to love!

The term slave is defined as “someone who is legally owned by another person and is forced to work for that person without pay and/ or It is a person who is strongly influenced and controlled by something/ or someone”.

Looking back over some of my past relationships I realised I was being a slave to love. This ultimately means you are expected to love and behave in certain ways to serve your partner when and how they want you to. In the process you lower your self worth and value. Your needs often get dismissed, as the objective is to serve, and keep your partner happy no matter what without expecting anything in return. As a result you will no doubt be used, disrespected, abused, mistreated, neglected, unappreciated and more often then not disposed of when you start speaking up or not serving the one you thought loved you.

10 signs you are a slave in love

Here are 10 signs you are or have been a slave in love:

1.  You  constantly question whether your in the right relationship.
2.  Your partner is always talking about him/ herself and you feel like you never get heard.
3. Every time you have a fight or argument the relationship is threatened eg. “Your partner says I don’t think we are right together” and/ or “I don’t think I am really in love with you”.
4. When things are going well and your partner seems to be treating you like they love you, you get your hopes up only to be disappointed repeatedly, so eventually you start feeling anxious because you know that this doesn’t usually last long. This is reinforcement behaviour. They give you a little glimpse of the potential partner you saw in them to just keep you there. You become addicted to them like a drug and you keep doing whatever you can to experience the high again.
5.  They are not happy when you are. When you achieve something they do something or say something to ruin the moment, or come home and rant and rave about how bad their day was, so you feel like they never actually celebrate your successes. This is because your just a slave so your job is to make them happy  and be of service to them.
6.  You start walking on egg shells around them because of the unpredictability and inconsistency in how they treat you. Or for fear of getting rejected,  yelled at, or in worse cases, beaten if you step out of line and don’t live up to their expectations. This can start with simple things like them yelling at you for asking them for help or for not mopping the floor properly or to them subtly starting to put you down in the bedroom ultimately making you feel inadequate.
7. Often these men or women have addictions to alcohol, drugs, or gambling and you are left picking up the pieces.
8.  They occasionally do something really sweet out of the blue for you to overcompensate for their bad behaviour and they will constantly remind you how good they treat you because they did this one thing. eg take you to an expensive hotel.
9. The moment you start to feel comfortable enough to express your love for them like send a beautiful message or write a heartfelt poem they will go out of their way to make you feel rejected or like it wasn’t good enough and to not reciprocate. e.g they will complain about how that message interrupted them at work. You see, they never really want you to get too close as then they won’t be able to dominate you anymore. You have to always be below them looking up to them and seeking their approval.
10. They won’t commit to you and often make you feel like you have to compete for their attention, by subtly mentioning that they have other potential suitors.

The first step is recognising you are being a slave and treated unfairly in the relationship. The hardest step is breaking away from it. It is like breaking an addiction. You will need many things including a good support system. If you could relate to this post in any way then don’t waste another minute in this viscious cycle, take the first step NOW and call me on 0414 865 390 so we can set you FREE!

.

read more »

So yesterday I set out to write my blog and found myself having a major case of writers block. I had blocked my creative channel and could not hear my own intuition. I became so frustrated and disenchanted with myself which only made my writers block even worse.  My mind became overwhelmed with negative thoughts. You know the shaming “it’s because your hopeless and not good enough” stuff. I realised my own self sabotage had kicked in to overdrive, and if I wasn’t careful it would hijack me and my business and take it into the land of shattered dreams and broken hearts, if I allowed it too.

You see we all have self sabotage. We come up against it in every area of our life including health/fitness, love, relationships, career/ business, finances, and spirituality. The only difference between a successful person and an unsuccessful person is that a successful person has been able to make friends with their own self sabotage and understands it, accepts it and knows how to talk it around and get it back on side when they have a disagreement. A successful person knows their self sabotage so well that they can get their self sabotage to drive them to their chosen destination and buy them a glass of wine at the other end to apologise for being such a jerk and trying to hijack you in the first place. From past experience I was expecting this attempted hijack so I was prepared for it. I knew that the best and only real option you have to survive in this situation is to build a rapport with the abductor “your self sabotage” and turn it into your friend instead of your enemy. You do this by realising that your self sabotage is challenging you to see if you are worthy of playing the game at this new level.

To beat your own self sabotage you have to ask yourself some really awesome questions to tap back into your flow again!

Some awesome questions you can ask yourself are:

What things are you happy about in your life?

Why are you happy about this?

What are you proud of yourself for?

How does this make you feel?

What in your life are you grateful for?

Who do you love?

Who loves you?

How does it make you feel that you are loved?

What are you excited about right now?

These questions will connect you with whats important to you and make you so strong and in flow again. You will stop seeing the self sabotage as an obstacle and you will see and hear and connect with your own guidance system again. Where your focus goes your energy flows. When you are tuning into your own intuition you are tuning into your higher self. To tune into your intuition you need to raise your  energy and vibration again and ask yourself good GROWTH questions.

So for me being able to tune into my own intuition allows me to be in my true feminine nature and flow. I am able to connect with my unique purpose and ability to access my clients true passions and nature, and assist them to grow, heal and create and experience lives they love. When I am in my creative intuitive flow I tend to attract the right people into my life at the right time. My experience of my life and relationships is MAGICAL as I am connected with my true essence and feminine power.

So therefore to overcome my self- sabotage is to find the balance between being able to express my own unique feminine creative nature in a world that has discouraged it. A world that has destroyed the divine imperfections of the true feminine flower by adapting it and engineering it to create perfectionism, while losing its true nature to a world that now has DEPRESSION as it’s leading cause of disability. Depression is self-sabotage and inhibited creativity in its strongest form. So would it be possible, If we went back to our routes and encouraged women to express themselves and connect with there own individual intuitive channels, purpose and creative expression, that they may HEAL the world?

read more »

Whoever said “life is easy” was sure in a massive big, fat comfort zone! Unfortunately for them they never really got to see what truly LIVING was all about.

In my experience you really know that you’re ALIVE when you step out of your comfort zone and make a decision, or attempt something that scares the crap out of you!

I resigned from my day job recently, to pursue my business and life passions. I am speaking honestly when I say that there are times where I feel like I am about to jump out of the plane, wondering whether the parachute will open or perhaps I will plummet to my death. It really is a very scary change!

I am experiencing a constant internal battle between embracing  and loving my awesome life changing decision and my mind wanting to press the STOP  and ABORT buttons to take me back to my comfort zone, where I know I’m safe.

Now, as if managing your own shitty thoughts isn’t enough, add to that everyone else’s shitty thoughts, opinions and concerns also.They don’t realise they are doing it, but subconsciously they’re projecting their own fears onto you about YOUR future, as if it were them about to jump out of that plane!

It’s important to understand that the fears they project at you, are their owns minds safety mechanisms being activated. So, the trick is to not let their projectiles hit you and keep you down… this of course is easier said then done!

The feeling of resistance that you and everyone else are feeling toward your life change is actually completely normal. But, the challenge is to keep moving, keep on walking towards change and don’t stop or run backwards! The more you hesitate the more pain you will feel.

Think about this:

You are driving a car load of friends to your favourite concert. You approach the roundabout and the traffic is ridiculously busy and frantic. After sitting there for what feels like forever, you finally see a small gap.  If you are quick and don’t hesitate you could enter the roundabout and get through it safely.

On the other hand, If you decide to go, but everyone in the car panics and yells “STOP” and you actually go against your own better judgement and do stop, chances are you are most likely already halfway out and  now in the path of oncoming traffic! That car you wanted to get in front of will jam on his brakes and will plough right into you. It is unlikely now that you will make it to the concert.

Had you decided to go, despite everyone yelling at you to “STOP”  because of their perception of the risk from the backseat, instead using their yelling at you as an injection of adrenaline, which transfers to your foot to put the accelerator down further just to make sure you do get through… YOU WILL MAKE IT!!

Everyone else will quickly apologise for not supporting you and for hitting the panic buttons, when clearly you have enough driving experience and are in control of the car. You made an assessment of the risk from the drivers seat, it paid off and in plenty of time might I add! YOU MADE IT and your friends will thank you for the ride because through you and your exceptional driving, they got to experience the VIP complimentary drinks before heading into the concert! You will be even more confident of your own judgement and capabilities.

Did you know, when you do something different, make a change or take a risk in life your brain is actually growing new neural pathways to accommodate these new experiences. So you must experience the growth pains that go with it.

Embracing change is like choosing which radio station to listen to; LOVE FM OR FEAR FM.

YOU WILL have to push through the resistance at the beginning and filter out the static to find clarity at LOVE FM again. IT WILL BE painful, frustrating, annoying, and make you feel anxious at the beginning, you will have to experience all that goes with it.

It’s very important to love yourself enough to acknowledge the pain and nurture yourself during this process. When you do break through it will be just like eating a Lindt chocolate ball; hard on the outside but beautiful, smooth and sweet when you make it through to the centre.

This is where you really get to experience the fruits of life and to fall in LOVE with yourself and your life again. You will feel worthy of it, knowing you were brave enough to take a risk and how hard it was to get there.

MY 9 HINTS  FOR YOU TO BREAKTHROUGH FEAR AND CREATE LOVE IN YOUR LIFE AGAIN

My nine hints to successfully breaking through fear and accomplish your dream, and moving towards what you love in life are:

1. Accept that it is normal and see it for what it is, know you are GROWING and be proud of yourself for having the courage to take a risk.

2. Surround yourself with supportive, optimistic people who believe in you and understand what you are experiencing. People who don’t project their own fears onto you because they realise it is their own limitations and safety mechanisms being activated.

3. Realise FEAR actually isn’t real. It is False Evidence Appearing Real that your mind perceives about the risk, based on past experiences that are trying to keep you safe because your brain hasn’t yet grown to accommodate the new experience yet.

Your brain knows that it will have to grow and expand and that is uncomfortable and painful. So it naturally activates the fear response so it doesn’t have to get uncomfortable and experience pain.

Just like a nurse needs to encourage patients to get out of bed and take the first steps after a big operation,  because the patient fears pain but the nurse knows that although it is painful the patient will actually have a quicker and more successful recovery the sooner they get moving again. It’s the same principle when you make change,  KEEP MOVING AND MOVE PAST THE PAIN.

4. Manage your anxiety and stress by eating healthy and exercising regularly.  Be very disciplined about it, and avoid alcohol.

5. Read inspiring and empowering quotes and personal development books.

6. Make time to have fun and laugh with people you love.

7. Every night before you go to sleep write down or think of 10 things you are grateful for about that day. This reprograms your mind to think positive thoughts and will attract more positive experiences into your life.

8. Create a list of all the reasons why you are doing what you are doing… IF THE WHY IS STRONG ENOUGH THE HOW WILL COME!

9. Last but most importantly get a good LIFE COACH to support you and assist you to breakthrough and keep you accountable to take action towards your goals or desired change.

Are you looking to make change in any area of your life?  Are you feeling the fear, hesitating or being held back and want to speak to someone who understands this process all to well? Someone who will not project their fears onto you, who will support you in your growth and elevate you to a whole new level?

I can help! Please contact me and let’s have a one off BREAKTHROUGH conversation.

I guarantee to give you inspiration and clarity completely obligation free!

CALL ME on 0414865 390 and lets set up a convenient time FOR YOUR FREE hour   to FREE YOUR MIND and EMPOWER YOUR SOUL!!!

read more »

Love is not self sacrifice

I grew up believing that loving yourself was selfish and made you a snob, stuck-up and someone who looked down on others and not a very nice person. I was lead to believe that love was about self sacrifice and putting other people first, BOY WAS I WRONG! The truth is this unconscious belief pattern has meant I have made some really bad choices when it comes to men and relationships, it had me stay in abusive relationships, be used, manipulated, lied to and cheated on. I have lent out large amounts of money and never got it back. Yes I have been betrayed and disappointed in my intimate relationships in just about every sense of the word. I found myself in a number of very one-sided relationships with men where I gave everything and sacrificed myself and my own values only to walk away with a broken heart and debt and overweight cause I was putting soo much energy into the other person and the relationship I neglected myself in the process. I always found that my best times were when I was single because I could do what I wanted, when I wanted to. No wonder I felt that way! When these relationships ended I was so confused as to why it had ended because in my mind I gave it everything and loved as much as I could love for very little in return, and considered myself to be a good catch and a good girlfriend. Until finally I realised where I was going wrong. My belief about love was what had had me screwed over and broken hearted soo many times. I finally actually got that “you can’t love someone else until you love yourself first”.

Love starts with you and ends with you

I know I know you are probably thinking I have heard this all before, I know I need to love myself first and I do love myself. Can I just say that knowing this makes no difference until you DEFINITELY GET THIS ,AND YOU ARE ACTUALLY LOVING YOURSELF FIRST. Honestly lets face it their are a whole lot of people out there who are not doing this and if you are reading this chances are you are one of the many who are not loving yourself first in one way or another. Whether it be showing up in your relationships, your finances, your health, your career it is one and the same. Even if you are married and in a relationship right now this blog post is for you because I guarantee at some level maybe not to the degree I wasn’t loving myself first you are doing the same thing and your denying yourself of the happiness that comes from loving yourself first, and your relationships are suffering as a result. Don’t worry most of us deny it and trick ourselves and find excuses to neglect the relationship with ourselves and choose to believe things like I’m single because “most men out there are selfish assholes” or ” I just have bad luck in relationships” or “women are just tramps and like to be treated like shit” or “when you are married and have a mortgage and kids you have to make sacrifices”. These are all lies. You are lying to yourself because all of your relationships and every area of your life are a reflection of how you are relating to yourself and your own self worth. All relationships start with YOU and end with YOU so why not LOVE YOU FIRST so that you can then truly LOVE others!

So my belief about love and sacrificing myself and putting others first is obviously what lead me to a career in nursing which I loved at the beginning and enjoyed for a long time but in recent years lead to burn out. I learnt the hard way that this wasn’t an easy career and meant self sacrificing and functioning at levels of stress day in and day out that most people would consider completely insane for lets face it, in the scheme of things, little financial reward and at the expense of personal health and relationships. A couple of years ago I was forced by my own health to look at changing my career direction and changed from the busy emergency department environment to a slower pace nursing environment. Recently I have decided to throw myself completely in the deep end and learn to love myself at a whole new level. I have resigned from my nursing job to pursue what I love and my true passions full time. Already I have had to overcome my fears and own limitations and self worth barriers in how I relate to myself through my nursing career.

Loving yourself first isn’t always easy

The thing is that loving yourself first isn’t easy and in many ways takes more courage then being a selfless giver cause you open yourself up to being judged by others. Some people will see you as selfish for putting yourself first. You will sometimes feel horrible because it will mean you will have to break someone else’s heart to love yourself first and make yourself happy and walk in your own direction. It takes great courage to be true to your own heart in the face of no agreement and to admit you were wrong. and made a mistake or a wrong choice that did hurt another. You will need to learn to forgive yourself and others to truly love yourself. Loving yourself is not punishing yourself for your mistakes just learning from them and owning them and the consequences. Sometimes its not the easy road that is the right road to take, and sometimes you have to walk the road alone in order to love yourself first.

In the end though it will be the times you neglected to love yourself first that you will most regret.

I hope that after reading this blog post you are ready to take loving yourself to a whole new level and to truly love yourself first. I hope that you can relate to this blog like it’s a mirror and you are seeing your own reflection because thats what all your relationships are….. A reflection of yourself and an opportunity to learn how to LOVE YOURSELF FIRST and then only then you will experience TRUE LOVE in your relationships.

read more »

Their are no coincidences

Ten years ago before I studied to be a life coach, I started asking a number of questions about my life, love and relationships. I’d heard the saying “ask and you shall receive” but never really gotten that concept. Up until then I had never really given a lot of thought to life or the universe. I guess my life had just flowed and I had felt relatively fulfilled until then. It wasn’t until I started to ask these questions that I started to see a correlation between asking questions and seemingly coincidential things happen in my life. It was then I realised that “their is no such thing as a coincidence”. Everything happens for a reason and when you ask a question the answer will arrive in sometimes unexpected ways. It is up to you to realise and see the answers however they show up.

Seeing the answers right in front of you

I had been thinking about what to name my life coaching business for years and tossing up with different ideas and becoming more and more frustrated. At the beginning of this year I had a day off and  whilst driving I decided I was going to pose my question to the universe… What should I name my business? Moments later I noticed a red ute in front of me that caught my eye not because of the guy driving it but because I LOVE the colour red. As It caught my eye I noticed it’s number plate and the number plate was “LOVE”. I realised that this was a sign. Straight after that another cars number plate caught my eye and it was “SOUL”. I said out loud “LOVE SOUL” and I realised this was the universes sign of what to name my business. As you can imagine at the time I was feeling really “CONNECTED” and that was when It dawned on me what had been missing was not my asking the question but my ability to “CONNECT” and see the answers that had been showing up everywhere.   So naturally the last word had to  be “CONNECT” and so “LOVE SOUL CONNECT” was born.

The answers show up in many different ways

A good friend of mine recently told me a story of what could have been perceived as a series of misfortunes by most but she was able to connect and see these events as an answer to her question that she had asked at the beginning of the week. She proceeded to tell me her story of how all in one week her husband fell on some secateurs whilst gardening and she had realised how easily he could’ve died. Then a few days later her son fell off his scooter and broke his arm so badly he needed surgery to repair it, and then her dog got caught in some wire and got a deep cut that needed veterinary surgery. After she relayed all this to me I thought to myself knowing full well that these seeming misfortunes were no coincidence “I wonder why these things happened”. Then my friend continued saying after all this I got thinking about a question I had been pondering for the last 2 weeks. She said she had been taking a look at her finances and where she could save money and was particularly looking at her insurances. She had asked the question “which insurances do i need to keep and which could I do without?” so in a strange way this series of events had given her the answer she sought. She had realised how easily something could happen to her husband and decided to keep her life insurance. As a  result of her sons accident she realised she could reduce her private health insurance and that she definitely needed to keep her pet insurance. So she got her answer. I guess this could also illustrate you need to “be careful what you wish for”.

Little Love Signs

A week ago I was going for a run and that  day I had been wondering what I should write my next blog about?  I was also asking if I was on the right path?. Before I left for my run a little jade love heart shaped stone fell off my key ring. I didn’t really take a lot of notice other then to pick it up off the floor and put it aside. Then whilst I was running I ran past a glitter little love heart on the path and something made me go back and pick it up. It wasn’t until I got home and on the driveway I noticed this smashed piece of plastic in the exact shape of a love  heart that I realised that this was now the third love heart that had grabbed my attention since I had left home and that this was my answer to both my questions. It was a little sign of love showing me I was on the right path with my business and was a clear sign to me that this needed to be my next blog.

SO MY WISH FOR YOU ALL IS THAT YOU LOOK FOR THE LOVE IN EACH AND EVERY SITUATION, YOU SEE THE ANSWERS YOUR SOUL IS SEARCHING FOR AND THAT YOU MAKE THE CONNECTION!

read more »

So I would like to have a conversation with you that really matters to me and I know matters to you and everyone in your life too……

A few years ago, I had a family member commit suicide and my then boss’s son commit suicide in the same year. Just prior to this I had gotten back from an amazing European Escape where you have the time to dream, and truly connect with others. It’s as if you are all living on a natural high, experiencing what its like to truly be free of the everyday stresses of life, and making money and going to a job you don’t particularly like and be able to connect with people. I came back to working as a nurse and dealing with the day in, and day out frustration, of being soo stretched and under the pump that you don’t have the time to provide holistic care, and truly connect with people and make the difference you would like because your soo busy just handing out medications and completing the endless amounts of paperwork, and trying to be considered as “productive as possible” while competing with the clock. It was at this time in my life that I identified the need in our society to STOP and have conversations that really matter with people! The ones that prevent people from getting soo far down that spiral of self destruction that our stressful modern society imposes on us that it becomes so soul destroying you choose to end it all… These are the conversations that really matter!!! That is what lead me to start searching for the answers and where I identified my true passion in life of being an intuitive life/relationship coach and actually having the courage to have the conversations with people that make the real difference.

Are you or someone else you know suffering from depression? I believe that depression is a result of not having these conversations with ourselves, our partners, our children, our friends and even strangers… Tell me when was the last time that you made the time to have a conversation with your partner about his / her dreams, desires and passions in life? When did you last make the time to look at your own goals and make a plan to achieve them? When was the last time you actually sat and listened to a total stranger share authentically about what was happening in their life without having to cut them off because of your own time constraints? When was the last time you  actually sat and had the kind of conversation that lead to understanding and resolving a family issue that had been passed down the line from generation to generation that ultimately freed you or others up to create something different ? When was the last time you actually took the time to express your own true feelings with someone in your own life knowing full well that it would result in an awkward, confronting conversation that would eventually lead to understanding and having a renewed level of respect for eachother?

The truth is that most of us now are so caught up in the modern day merry-go-round that we call “life” , which in actual fact is more associated with survival then actually “living” and our conversations are reflective of this. Our conversations actually become a bandaid for the day we have had and to make us feel like we have actually paid interest in our partners life rather then a conversation that would actually create resolve to a level in that persons life that may actually allow for understanding. The thing is when we actually take the time to really listen and understand another human being we are in actual fact gaining a new level of understanding of ourselves. It is only in our relationships with others that we truly get to see the reflection of ourselves. Just like standing in front of a mirror.. the longer you stand in front of it and take the time to truly appreciate your reflection in the mirror.. you suddenly see things about yourself you never ever saw before.

The way to true romance and intimacy and to find that spark with your partner is to cut the superficial Bu#$%*##t and have the conversations that really matter. If you want to improve your sex life then make the time to truly understand your partner and have the conversations. If you want something different in your working relationships, family, friendships you need to have different conversations. The fact is we are all at some level looking to understand and be understood in all our connections with people. If we don’t have the conversations that allow us to explore uncharted territory with people we will never see or experience anything different for ourselves. It’s these kind of conversations that generate love and respect between people.

When was the last time you walked into a shop and talked to a total stranger and had a “real” conversation with them that generated such a level of understanding and rapport that after a 15 minute conversation with them you hugged them goodbye without any hesitation, knowing full well you may never see them again and 15 minutes ago this person was a stranger? For me it was a couple of days ago.. I went into a spiritual shop and had a total stranger take the time to actually have a conversation with me that actually made me feel like all the changes I was experiencing in my life were no longer so overwhelming and that I had what it took to pursue my passions. After giving this gentleman a hug after that conversation, I walked out of that shop feeling like that man (a total stranger 15 minutes prior) had brightened up my entire day and shifted a massive weight off my shoulders that had been there well over a week. I am ever so grateful for that mans 15 precious minutes he spent with me and to the contribution he made to me and my life with that conversation. How much better would he have felt too knowing he had contributed to me and made me walk away smiling and feeling empowered once again and all it took was 15 minutes of his day. These kind of conversations are the kind of conversations that can be like a drop in the ocean that causes a ripple effect that goes for miles.

So I urge you this week to STOP and take the time to have the conversations that REALLY matter and watch your life sparkle and that spice flow back into your love life once again… cause it will… TRUST ME!

If you or someone you know is ready to have a conversation that really matters.. then please contact me to book an appointment for a one on one coaching session.

read more »

So today a dream of mine came to life..

I have been wanting to get “Love soul connect” online for a while now but didn’t know where to start in the process of creating a webpage. This morning as I was driving along the ocean, I created my intentions for my day off and my intention was to somehow be able to have the online presence to be able to blog and share my love, inspiration and passion with the world.. I didn’t know how that was going to happen as I hadn’t heard back from the designer regarding my logo yet, I sure knew why though, in fact, my “why” was stronger then ever. Then it occurred to me that maybe the logo could come later. I thought “maybe I just need to start sharing with the world what I have to say regardless of having a logo” and then I posed the question to the universe “how could I get my business online today so I can start being of service to more people”?

After posing this question to the universe the stars aligned.. I had this intuition to contact my friend Nicki a web designer but I went against this intuition as she had just had a family member pass away and her I assumed her workload was hectic, and I didn’t want to bother her so I left it and went and did my grocery shopping. Only half an hour later I had a message from my friend Nicki, asking “how did you go with your logo? I probably could set up your website quickly if you have your domain”…It was as if she had read my mind! I knew this was the stars aligning to have my website happen today… So rather then message Nicki I called her straight away and that phone call lead into building the website of ‘Love soul connect” together over skype and me writing my very first blog tonight… In only a day my dream of having the ability to touch and inspire people all over the world to create their dreams and to experience true love in their lives, came to life… and then their it was.. LOVE!!!

So what I learnt from this experience is if the why is strong enough, the how will come. Once you truly CONNECT with your SOUL purpose, opportunities WILL flow your way. Trust your intuition and let go of the chatter in your mind, cause it will sabotage you and your dreams every time. When you give up how it should look, and open your mind to what is possible, while still holding your intentions and keeping your focus clearly on what you want, and why you want it, the how will come…..sometimes quicker then you ever could imagine… in fact when your truly connected and aligned with your soul purpose…. MAGIC HAPPENS… the people and the resources and the opportunities arrive. All you really need to do is just let go and let the magic and love happen!!!

Welcome to LOVE SOUL CONNECT- turning dreams into reality and experiencing true love in your life!

read more »