A few years ago, I had a family member commit suicide and my then boss’s son commit suicide in the same year. Just prior to this I had gotten back from an amazing European Escape where you have the time to dream, and truly connect with others. It’s as if you are all living on a natural high, experiencing what its like to truly be free of the everyday stresses of life, and making money and going to a job you don’t particularly like and be able to connect with people. I came back to working as a nurse and dealing with the day in, and day out frustration, of being soo stretched and under the pump that you don’t have the time to provide holistic care, and truly connect with people and make the difference you would like because your soo busy just handing out medications and completing the endless amounts of paperwork, and trying to be considered as “productive as possible” while competing with the clock. It was at this time in my life that I identified the need in our society to STOP and have conversations that really matter with people! The ones that prevent people from getting soo far down that spiral of self destruction that our stressful modern society imposes on us that it becomes so soul destroying you choose to end it all… These are the conversations that really matter!!! That is what lead me to start searching for the answers and where I identified my true passion in life of being an intuitive life/relationship coach and actually having the courage to have the conversations with people that make the real difference.
Are you or someone else you know suffering from depression? I believe that depression is a result of not having these conversations with ourselves, our partners, our children, our friends and even strangers… Tell me when was the last time that you made the time to have a conversation with your partner about his / her dreams, desires and passions in life? When did you last make the time to look at your own goals and make a plan to achieve them? When was the last time you actually sat and listened to a total stranger share authentically about what was happening in their life without having to cut them off because of your own time constraints? When was the last time you actually sat and had the kind of conversation that lead to understanding and resolving a family issue that had been passed down the line from generation to generation that ultimately freed you or others up to create something different ? When was the last time you actually took the time to express your own true feelings with someone in your own life knowing full well that it would result in an awkward, confronting conversation that would eventually lead to understanding and having a renewed level of respect for eachother?
The truth is that most of us now are so caught up in the modern day merry-go-round that we call “life” , which in actual fact is more associated with survival then actually “living” and our conversations are reflective of this. Our conversations actually become a bandaid for the day we have had and to make us feel like we have actually paid interest in our partners life rather then a conversation that would actually create resolve to a level in that persons life that may actually allow for understanding. The thing is when we actually take the time to really listen and understand another human being we are in actual fact gaining a new level of understanding of ourselves. It is only in our relationships with others that we truly get to see the reflection of ourselves. Just like standing in front of a mirror.. the longer you stand in front of it and take the time to truly appreciate your reflection in the mirror.. you suddenly see things about yourself you never ever saw before.
The way to true romance and intimacy and to find that spark with your partner is to cut the superficial Bu#$%*##t and have the conversations that really matter. If you want to improve your sex life then make the time to truly understand your partner and have the conversations. If you want something different in your working relationships, family, friendships you need to have different conversations. The fact is we are all at some level looking to understand and be understood in all our connections with people. If we don’t have the conversations that allow us to explore uncharted territory with people we will never see or experience anything different for ourselves. It’s these kind of conversations that generate love and respect between people.
When was the last time you walked into a shop and talked to a total stranger and had a “real” conversation with them that generated such a level of understanding and rapport that after a 15 minute conversation with them you hugged them goodbye without any hesitation, knowing full well you may never see them again and 15 minutes ago this person was a stranger? For me it was a couple of days ago.. I went into a spiritual shop and had a total stranger take the time to actually have a conversation with me that actually made me feel like all the changes I was experiencing in my life were no longer so overwhelming and that I had what it took to pursue my passions. After giving this gentleman a hug after that conversation, I walked out of that shop feeling like that man (a total stranger 15 minutes prior) had brightened up my entire day and shifted a massive weight off my shoulders that had been there well over a week. I am ever so grateful for that mans 15 precious minutes he spent with me and to the contribution he made to me and my life with that conversation. How much better would he have felt too knowing he had contributed to me and made me walk away smiling and feeling empowered once again and all it took was 15 minutes of his day. These kind of conversations are the kind of conversations that can be like a drop in the ocean that causes a ripple effect that goes for miles.
So I urge you this week to STOP and take the time to have the conversations that REALLY matter and watch your life sparkle and that spice flow back into your love life once again… cause it will… TRUST ME!
If you or someone you know is ready to have a conversation that really matters.. then please contact me to book an appointment for a one on one coaching session.